No. 3: Ripley’s Game (2002)
I have read Patricia Highsmith's original novel and I have seen the movie versions with Alain Delon and Matt Daimon. I love all three, including the countless differences
between them, and I find Tom Ripley's character immensely fascinating, in a way
even inspiring, though quite a bit chilling as well. I understand this movie – Ripley's Game – was based on a later novel
by Highsmith, another instalment in the Ripley franchise, first published in
1974. This I haven't read. But I do hope it is far better than the screenplay.
It goes without saying that John Malkovich is a fine actor who would make a terrific Tom Ripley. If only he had a fine script to work on! The story here is perfectly idiotic; a five-year-old kid wouldn't buy such illogical behaviour. You want somebody dead, and whom do you hire for the job? A terminally ill and completely inexperienced picture framer. Give me a break, will you! The rushed action and the pedestrian dialogue only make the plot more incoherent – if that's possible at all.
What can one say about the cast? It’s probably unjust to blame
the poor fellows. Nobody can pull off such trash convincingly,
right? No, not quite. The novel was in fact filmed as early as 1977 under the
title Der amerikanische Freund (1977). The story was pretty much the same preposterous
crap, but the picture starred two fabulous actors, Dennis Hopper and Bruno Ganz,
who did a truly great job and made it almost believable. Not so here. With the
possible exception of Malkovich, the acting is hilariously inept. Who was this
cruel person who lied to Dougray Scott that he could act at all? Any piece of
wood will do a much better job.
The only thing this movie counts on is shock value. This it has. All murders – and there are many of them – are shown is the most graphic way possible, including a lovely scene of garrotting. So there is a good deal of pancake syrup around and the audience, provided that it's mentally deficient, is happy. For the sophisticated who are keen on higher pleasures, there are a few steamy soft-core scenes.
All in all, a stupendously dull and worthless
movie: stupid story, weak acting, lots of unnecessary blood and gore. Even the
visual side is drab to the extreme. The rating of this movie and the positive
reviews it gets baffle me no end.
=========================================================
No. 2 The Big Sleep (1978)
This must be one of the most horrible remakes ever made. I
don't have anything against remakes in general, provided that the new approach
is fresh and convincing enough, and that one thinks carefully before doing
again something that has long become a classic. Neither is the case here.
The only redeeming quality of this version of The Big Sleep is that it keeps much
closer to Chandler 's
chilling novel
than the classic
with Humphrey Bogart. In 1978, it was possible to show on the screen nudity,
drugs, pornography and violence quite unacceptable in 1946. But this is – let
me repeat – the only plus of this
version. Everything else is embarrassingly inferior to the original – either
the book or the movie.
To begin with, moving the whole story to England is
truly preposterous. Chandler
is far too hard-boiled for the prudish Britons. Seldom have I seen a better
illustration of the huge difference between the English and the American
mentality. I no longer wonder that Americans and British insist on being
cousins, instead of brothers and sisters.
Second, Robert Mitchum is insufferable. The man is
stupendously dull! Pretty much all of his lines are delivered in a way that
makes you think he would fall asleep there and then, or has just been woken up
perhaps. After Humphrey Bogart's debonair and charming portrayal, it is truly
unendurable to watch Mitchum's tired and tedious performance. I understand he
stepped in the shoes of the famous sleuth in other movies, too. I do hope he
improves vastly on this soporific mess.
The rest of the cast is entirely indifferent. The only sparkle
comes from the very young Oliver Reed who does manage to convey something of
the sinister character of Eddie Mars. The Sternwood sisters, whatever their
English first names were, are laughably inadequate to their parts. The sensual
charm of the elder has gone on holiday (and boy, is she plain!), and the
nymphomaniac infantilism of the younger one is grossly exaggerated beyond any
reasonable limits.
Last but not least, the direction, the cinematography and the
adaptation range from passable to dismal – with a strong prevalence of the
latter. Though the script is fairly close to the novel in terms of events and
violence, it omits much too much of Chandler 's
(mostly) brilliant dialogue. Apparently, as I said, it's much too tough and
slangy for the fastidious crime buffs on the other side of the Atlantic .
In short, watching this junk is a sheer waste of time. Much
better read the novel or see the 1946 classic with Boggie and Bacall, or both.
The old movie differs from the novel is quite a few ways, including a much more
light-hearted atmosphere, but on the whole it is infinitely superior to the
so-called remake.
======================================================
No. 1: 2001, A Space Odyssey (1968)
Let me make
this clear in the beginning: the extravagant praise usually accorded to Stanley
Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey I
have always found frightfully perplexing. All the more so since Arthur Clarke’s eponymous novel is without any reservations among my all-time
favourite books. The importance of Stanley Kubrick, however, ends with his
stimulating effect over Arthur Clarke during the bizarre brainstorming out of which both the novel and the
screenplay – written in parallel – were born. The complicated relationship
between both mediums has been eloquently described by Arthur Clarke himself in
his lovely little book The Lost Worlds of 2001 (1972). But it is the movie I am
here dealing with.
Now, I wish
there was other say to say it, but there isn’t. The movie is perfect crap! What exactly its classical status
rests upon is an absolute mystery for me. It is a visual tour de force all
right, but that’s just about the only asset it might possibly have. Except
perhaps that some of its music is among the greatest ever composed; if, indeed,
the movie has brought to more receptive ears the famous opening of Richard Strauss’
magnificent tone poem Also Sprach
Zarathustra, that’s something; actually, this opening is famous more
because of this movie than because of anything else, I think. As for the visual
side, it is not nearly as impressive today as it must have been in 1968, of
course, but it has aged surprisingly well. So much for the good sides, though.
For otherwise the movie is one failure after another. To begin with, a good many people have complained that when they saw it before the book, they didn’t understand the ending at all; only later did the novel make it clear. This is as expected – for the ending is an incomprehensible mess. What’s worse, the pace is appallingly slow. Imagine a spaceship landing that lasts for full ten minutes, during which you can appreciate Strauss’ famous waltz An der schönen blauen Donau, another masterpiece from the soundtrack. But even the greatest music cannot make the scene less tedious. Never have I seen a movie that drags so obviously and so painfully.
The whole
cast is downright horrible. Keir Dullea is the
dullest Dave Bowman one could possibly imagine. He never so much as raises his voice above monotonous whisper or changes
the mask-like expression of his face. The famous
dramatic dialogue with HAL, one of the highlights in the
book, is ridiculously humdrum
on the screen. Instead
of the mighty collision between man and machine you are right to expect, you
get two technicians – crashing bores, both of them – who discuss the board
manual. The bland fellow, whatever his name was, who plays Heywood Floyd cannot
act to save his life, poor thing. Just take a look at the conversation he has
with the others while they are traveling to TMA-1 or the soporific conference
before that. These guys are about to investigate the first solid proof of extraterrestrial intelligence
ever discovered by the human race. Yet they are discussing the matter with a
sort of chatty indifference as if it were the latest baseball game. Indeed,
they may well get more excited about baseball.
In
short, the immense philosophical depth of the novel is completely, absolutely
and overwhelmingly missing from the screen adaptation. So are
the suspense, the mystique and the drama.
Apologists,
who are usually quite scornful to anybody who dares to criticize their cherished
masterpiece, have tried to justify Kubrick’s static and inept direction with an
utmost search for realism. Spaceship landings are really very slow, astronauts
really are boring people, and so on and so forth. This, of course, is tosh.
Realism is just the last refuge of mediocrity; nothing more, nothing less. The
novel is, for the most part, quite realistic, yet it never feels dragged or
tedious. The movie does all the time. Nor do I find Dave Bowman or Heywood
Floyd boring on paper. Once Upon a Time
in the West is one of the most realistic and slow-paced movies I have ever
seen. Yet, it is one of my all-time favourites as well. How could this glaring
contradiction be? It’s very simple, really. In addition to Ennio Morricone’s
beautiful score, the cast is magnificent, perfectly selected to the last cameo.
Above all, when it comes to evocative power and dramatic intensity, Sergio
Leone’s masterful direction is unsurpassed. Stanley Kubrick doesn’t even come
close.
Surely the movie must have been groundbreaking
visually in 1968 – and perhaps not only visually indeed – but what is there to
keep it in the stores 45 years
later I have not the least idea. I wonder how far it would have gone had it not
been accompanied by the novel, first published a few months after the premiere. For my
money, speaking of 1968 and thought-provoking science fiction, Planet of the Apes is a far better
achievement. It’s not perfect, that’s for sure; many things in it could have
been improved. Nevertheless, it delivers compelling and stimulating
entertainment from the opening scene to the end credits. Kubrick’s 2001, A Space Odyssey, no matter how
much it may parade as a profound masterpiece, delivers only excruciating
boredom and exasperating mediocrity. I have seen it twice, and enough is
enough. Over and out.
























































































































































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